Hi I think we’ve met…

The weather’s getting warmer, days are getting longer and men wearing shirts are getting fewer (this is not always a good thing nor is it appropriate but for the most part woo!). While it’s finally warm enough to start wearing a dress by itself again (yay) it also means that it’s time for me to get sick.

It always happens. Once holidays start and the seasons change along comes the cold. Two summers ago I had pneumonia. So unfair. While all my friends were off galavanting around in short shorts and relaxing at the beach I was confined to bed. This time I’m not so sick but I have lost all energy and have been in bed for the past couple of days.

Now in theory, spending the day in bed with no responsibilities and no reason to shower sounds quite nice but, in reality, it gets incredibly boring.

There are only so many episodes of a show I can watch before every character annoys me. And there’s only so many times I can refresh my inbox, Instagram and Facebook page only to find nothing at all has changed. Nothing. I mean where are all the annoying status’ and pictures of food when you need them?

So when you have excessive time on your hands and no one’s generating content for you, you have to start searching for it yourself.

I’m talking of course about Facebook “stalking”.

We all do it. Even my grandmother, who doesn’t really altogether understand the concept of Facebook, does it. Every now and then, when boredom strikes, it’s perfectly normal to check out what people are getting up to.

Maybe someone’s had a baby and you want to see the cute (or sometimes not so cute…sorry not all babies are adorable) photos, or maybe you just haven’t spoken to someone since high school but it’s possibile they could be up to something cool. This is all quite normal.

It’s when you take it to the next level that “stalking” becomes more of a guilty pleasure. And that’s what a day in bed will make you do. Take you to that level.

When you’re finding yourself on pages of friends of friends looking through their family holiday photos and following along with all the in jokes you know you’ve gone too far. It’s easy to get carried away though. One tagged photo can lead you anywhere.

While there’s no real harm in being a bit of a creep from time to time it can become a problem when the real world and Facebook collide. You know it’s bad when you’ve been stalking a friend of a friend and you’ve never met them before but then, by chance, you do see them in real life. Now they don’t know you, they’ve never met you nor you them, but because you’ve had too much time on your hands and you’ve indulged in the “stalk” you now know everything from their religious views to their last check in.

If this happens just be cool. Whatever you do don’t say “Hi ____” or “This must be _____”. Don’t even let that spark of recognition in your eyes alight. Be cool. For god’s sake (and yours) be cool.

Anyway I think my throat is starting to close up so I better go. Once I’m better I’ll pick up my game and start writing real posts. Maybe.

For now though, enjoy.

x

Dancing With Myself

“Well there’s nothing to lose
And there’s nothing to prove
I’ll be dancing with myself”

                                                       – Billy Idol

Have you ever had one of those days that just makes you really pissed off and annoyed and are ready to bite someone’s head off at even a simple “hello”? Who am I kidding you’re only human, of course you have.

When you feel that anger and frustration inside, bubbling up and ready to boil over, there’s one thing you can do.

Dance.

Not in a class. Not even well. Just crazy, lame, stupid, silly and perfectly uninhibited dancing.

You don’t even have to be in a crappy mood. Maybe you’re just home alone and bored? Maybe you want to work out what moves look good before you hit the dance floor? Or maybe you just feel like shaking what your mama gave you?

Whatever the reason for dancing by yourself it is without a doubt one of the best feelings in the world.

It’s actually science. When you’re dancing around like mad your body is releasing endorphins (those lovely chemicals that make us happy. Not only do we feel good from these endorphins but listening to happy and energetic music also affects thinking. Basically,  dancing is a totally free and easy way to make yourself feel happy.

Personally, I believe there’s nothing embarrassing about having a bit of a dance around the house when you’re feeling down. However, there is something that can turn a free spirited boogie into more of a guilty pleasure…a mirror.

Ok seriously I wouldn’t admit this to most people, if anyone, but…I love to dance around in front of my mirror.

It might seem a little narcissistic just watching yourself dance. You’re probably thinking “Boyyy does she love herself!” however, this is not the case.

It is both entertaining and educating way of allowing yourself to see how stupid you look crumping and to be advised that fist pumping is something that you really can’t pull off.

The mirror provides an audience.  A totally judgemental free audience. Who doesn’t love not being judged! I mean we’ve all been out at a club or a birthday or a bar and have taken to the dance floor only to be shot dirty looks and smirks by other dancers.What is with dancing at clubs anyway? Can we even call it dancing? Because the majority of the time people are just bopping up and down scouring the room for hookups or, having found one, grinding with them on the d-floor. Oh and also let’s not forget hand dancing. Lots of guys love to hand dance.

No not that type of hand dancing. This type:

Anyway real dancing, the kind of “dance like no one’s watching” dancing, rarely occurs. It’s a shame. But there is a cure. It’s a judgment free audience, your mirror.

You might think I’m crazy or totally uncool but whatever, if you’ve never experienced dancing like a loon around the house and in front of the mirror, you’re missing out big time baby!

So come on, the next time you’ve had a terrible day, you’re feeling crappy or you just need to dance, turn the music up and start dancing… with yourself.

Go on, I dare you.

x

Update

Assessments are done, essays completed and 2nd year Uni is officially over! This can mean one of two things for this blog.

1) The blog lives on. Long live the blog!

or

2) It’s over. Kaput. I’m never writing another blog post again. And we are never, ever, ever getting back together.

After taking time to indulge in complete laziness, sleep in til 11 and watch whole seasons of tv shows in one day, I’ve decided to come back.

So welcome back (to myself) and hopefully you still read, like and enjoy (to you).

x

 

 

Zoe Foster on Guilty Pleasures

If you haven’t heard of Zoe Foster you probably don’t read Cosmopolitan, seek out beauty advice or maybe you’ve simply been living under a rock. Zoe is a writer, a beauty expert and a dating guru. She’s been the beauty director of Harper’s Bazaar, beauty editor of Cosmo and written a book all about amazing beauty tricks.

Amazing Face (Source: davidjones.com.au)

That’s not all.

She’s a contributing editor at mamamia.com, a columnist for Cosmo and is the author of several novels and a dating guide that you really should read before your next romance.

Not only is she incredibly talented (see above for proof) she’s also delightful and kindly agreed to answer a few questions about guilty pleasures.

If you that’s not enough to make you just want to scream from the rooftops “I love you Zoe Foster” then I don’t know what is.

Zoe Foster (source: mammamia.com)

What’s your definition of a guilty pleasure?

Something you are pretty sure you A) should not be doing B) is highly embarrassing, and C) should definitely keep to yourself… unless it’s actually a ‘faux’ guilty pleasure, like watching Toddlers and Tiaras, which you openly reveal you do for the shock/controversy/attention.

As a beauty director I’m sure you’ve seen every crazy fad and look known to man, what is one look you seriously love but would never leave the house in?

Undercuts. Partly because I’m nowhere near cool enough to carry it off, not even in the same postcode, and partly because the long, long, painful road of regrowth is simply not worth it.

As a dating guru, what do you think is one guilty pleasure you shouldn’t admit to on the first date… or maybe ever?

Uh, having a foot fetish would probably be up there I reckon. And don’t get into ex territory, or admit to snooping, or Facebook stalking or hacking into email – any of that grubby gear.

Romance novels, from the really sappy (mills and boon) to the really saucy (50 shades of Grey), are considered by many to be a guilty pleasure. If you were to write a guilty pleasure romance novel what would your pen name be?

Gloria Von Passionby

Finally, what is your guilty pleasure?

Didn’t you read my answer above! I shan’t admit this! Ever!

Zoe’s currently in the process of writing another book but if you want to read more from her follow the links.

Website

Tumblr

Twitter

Mamamia

Enjoy

x

Document This

Some things are cool and some things are not. “Coolness” is of course all relative to your social group. What may be cool for the girl who smells like petuli on your 9am tram may not be the same for the guy with the too tight jeans in your 10 o’clock class.

Things that are deemed “uncool” are usually things we class as guilty pleasures.

Let me give you an example. Documentaries.

To some documentaries are really interesting, to others they are something we’re forced to watch at school and to the rest they might just be something you watch when nothing else is on tv. For me though I love them and probably watch some form of documentary at least once a week. Whether it be a documentary style tv show or a full movie I just can’t get enough of them.

Now for my peers watching documentaries isn’t really what they want to be spending their time doing. So personally, spending my spare time watching documentary after documentary, is a guilty pleasure.

Since this is a place to indulge in guilty pleasures let me just say two things. Louis Theroux.

Louis Theroux (source: smh.com.au)

Louis is an adorable British tv presenter who has made some truly enjoyable documentary series about all kinds of different lifestyles and people. One of my all time favourite episodes is ‘Louis and the Brothel’ where Theroux spends time at Wild Horse Adult Resort and Spa in Nevada, where prostitution is legal. Theroux creates these lovely personal connections with the girls and tells their stories in such a compelling way free from any judgment.

Another amazing documentary of Theroux’s is ‘The Most Hated Family In America’ where he spends time with the family at the centre of the Westboro Baptist Church. If you haven’t heard of them here’s an example of the kind of people they are.

Theroux tries to understand these bizarre church goers and get inside their minds. He does so in such a way that humanises them while at the same time exposes their craziness, which is why I love him.

Now even though I’m sure my friends would really enjoy these docos, it’s kind of a dorky pastime, so I’d have to say that watching documentaries is definitely a guilty pleasure relative to my social sphere.

But I may as well embrace it!

Here are just a few documentaries I love and highly recommend.

The Interrupters 

First Positon

Teenage Paparazzo 

Grey Gardens 

And here’s one I’m really looking forward to.

If you know of any good documentaries let me know!

x

Just on a side note. Last night I saw an AMAZING play as part of the Melbourne Festival. It was an Ibsen work, ‘An Enemy of the People’, performed by Schaubühne Berlin. It is a contemporary adaptation on Ibsen’s highly political play and is performed (almost) completely in German. Despite being 2.5 hours with no break (!) it was such a wonderful experience and I highly recommend you see it if you have a chance. Details here.

Apps You Can’t Get Enough Of But Probably Should

Unless you’ve been living under your bed communicating solely with Johnson and Friends, I’m guessing that when I say “App” you’ll know what I’m talking about. Even if you don’t I’m sure you’ve at least heard of it, how can you not when we live in a world saturated by the the likes of the  ipad, iphone, ipod, ieverything?

But if you honestly have no clue what I’m on about I’ll break it down for you.

App is short for application, which is basically software that let’s us do stuff like fling birds at buildings (Angry Birds) and write essays (Word). The apps I’m talking about here are the types of applications that are specifically designed for your mobile phones. Influenced by some genius at Apple who decided to create applications specific for  iphones, smartphone companies across the board have done the same, and people have made big $$ by creating weird and wonderful popular apps.

Popular app Angry Birds (source: wikipedia)

Living in a world saturated by new media and where most people are incapable of unplugging from technology, using apps to pass away time is completely commonplace. It’s more than ordinary to play a quick game of Fruit Ninja as you wait for the tram and it’s almost expected that you’ll engage in a spitfire round of Angry Birds on the bus.

Us smartphoneians all indulge in apps usage from time to time. The types of apps we use can range from everything that lets us check our bank account to ones where we can make lollypops. Let’s face is most of the apps we use are a bit more on the ridiculous making lollypops side. So it’s not the type of app we play that can make apps our guilty pleasure, rather, it’s the way we interact with them.

There may be a million-billion* apps out there, almost all of which have the potential to become a guilty pleasure, but here are three I’ll use as examples.

Face Juggler

What Is It?

This is an app where you upload a photo and it switches the faces. So you get your friend’s face and your friend gets yours. There’s really not much more to it.

Why Do We Love It?

It’s completely ridiculous. Also haven’t you ever wondered what you’d look like with your head and Miranda Kerr’s body? Or what she’d look like with your body and her head?

When Does It Become A Guilty Pleasure?

So it’s fun to use once in a while and can be a bit of a laugh with a group of friends. When you sit at home and obsessively swap the faces on every single picture in your phone and when you take photos for the explicit purpose of face juggling it later, that’s when you know that your interaction with the app has turned into a guilty pleasure.

Tap Campus Life

What is it?

This app lets you live out your American collage campus life dream. You get to create a Sorority, throw parties and dress the sorority girls. Plus you can give yourself a makeover, host events (luau anyone?) and recruit the hottest girls on campus. Woo.

(source: itunes.apple.com)

Why Do We Love It?

See above.

When Does It Become A Guilty Pleasure?

When you seize every single spare moment to check on your sorority house’s progress. When someone asks what you’re doing and you reply “checking my emails”. When you start engaging on forums swapping tips and cheats. When your daily exercise is yoga, in the sorority house. This is when your interaction with the app has turned into a guilty pleasure.

Instagram

What Is It?

An app that lets you take photos, or select them from your camera roll, and apply cool effects to them that INSTAntly make them cool!

Yummy berry smoothies made 100% tastier looking with Instagram

Why Do We Love It?

Our food has never looked better.

When Does It Become A Guilty Pleasure?

When you start to plan the photos you’re going to Instagram. When you sit at home alone taking photos of anything and everything desperate to find something good enough to Instagram. When you Instagram a photo, delete it, reapply filters, delete it, reapply filters to get the perfect shade of INSTAwesome. That’s when your interaction with Instagram has become something of a guilty pleasure…if not just weird.

x

* rough estimate

I’ve Got A Crush On You

“I like how he has kind of a funny smile like a ferret”  

I’m going to play you a song and afterwards I’m going to ask you a question. Pay attention.

Question: Would you want this song to be written about you?

Answer: NO.

But it’s a love song, right? WRONG.

Well no, you’re right, it is a love song but not love of the  sweet “Shorty you’re my angel, you’re my darling angel”  kind you really want someone to write about you.

It’s a love story of a girl who loves a guy who she “really [has] no doubt, that any other girl but me, would be running from a guy like you” and whose love is “so intoxicating when you know it isn’t right“.

To break it down, she loves the boy but is embarrassed to admit she does because everyone else thinks he’s foul.

I don’t know about you, but if I knew someone loved me yet was so overly embarrassed by the thought of me that I was their guilty pleasure, I’d be highly insulted.

However, just because we wouldn’t want to be someone’s guilty pleasure crush doesn’t mean that we don’t all have one.

There’s always going to be that one guy (or girl) who we may think is really sweet and cute and funny but no one else does. Celebrity crushes in particular are a great source for guilty pleasure crushes because, if you’re going to have an imaginary romance with a million dollar man, it’s a bit odd not to make it someone unnaturally handsome and unattainable.

Curious to know who people were harbouring secret desires for I asked around and found out.

Example One: The Funny One.

(source:www.infamouskid.com)

Steve Carrell is a funny man. He’s probably the type of man who you’d ask to water your garden when you go out of the country. He’s not really the type of guy you see and think “dayyym break me off a piece of that!”.

Well most don’t but some do…

“I like him because he’s kind of tanned and he actually has a really sexy body for a man that age. Like he looks kind of strong and manly in a way and I like how he has a funny smile kind of like a ferret. I like his sense of humour a lot! And I like how he looks like such a dork but he seems so sweet.” – Leia*, 21

“There’s something endearing about him and he’s really funny but when I’m with my friends and we’re talking about celebs we’d want to get with, he doesn’t really compare to Brad Pitt” – Tilda, 20

Honorable mentions: Dwight from The Office, Ricky Gervais: “They’re men in power and know how to rock a suit…I think the reasons are pretty obvious as to why they’re embarrassing” – Fleur, 20

Example Two: The Underbelly Cast Member One.

(source: stuff.co.nz)

Anthony LaPaglia isn’t someone I’d be embarrassed about telling the world I had an enormous crush on, Jonathan LaPaglia as murder Anthony Parish in Underbelly Badness…well that’s a whole different story.

“He played a murderer but I couldn’t help but be totally attracted to him!” – Melissa, 21

“There’s something intriguing about him like you know it’s not right to think he’s cute, he’s a murderer after all, but still there’s this bad boy thing about him” – Becky, 19

Honorable Mentions: Callan Mulvey as Mark Moran, Damian Walshe-Howling as Benji Veniaman:”Hot, hot, hot but they’re criminals, which is awkward” – Becky, 19

Example Three: The Weird One.

(source: wikipedia)

There should really be no need to explain why Steve Buscemi’s a guilty pleasure crush, it’s all in the eyes.

“He’s a really great actor and that’s attractive but yeah…” – Maria, 25

Honorable Mentions: No one’s weirder than Steve Buscemi…

…if you do truly love him though, you can now wear him.

(source: incrediblethings.com)

So..who’s your guilty pleasure crush?

x

*All names changed to protect reputations

** I always get Anthony and his brother Jonathan Lapaglia mixed up! It was Jonathon in Underbelly however not Anthony and corrections have been made accordingly.

Overheard

Two men are standing, bodies swaying along with the eb and flow of the tram. The man with the dark hair looks at the one with the sandy blonde and says “How good is that facebook page I just liked?” Blondy looks at him a little confused “Ahh which one?” Tall dark and handsome smiles “Box gap…you know that gap between..?” he trails off “Ahhh yeahhhhh” Blondy breathes in recognition, they look at each other smirking, smiling and nodding for a good minute until dark and handsome exclaims “Sooooo goood”.

When you’re on public transport there’s three things you can do to keep yourself entertained.

 One: Listen to other people’s conversations.

 Two: Surreptitiously read other people’s books/newspapers/magazines/MX.

 Three: Sleep.

While the second on the list is rather train, tram or bus specific, the other two you can do almost anywhere where there are other people and/or somewhere to rest your head.

Listening in on conversations is probably the most entertaining and least awkward of the three to do. If you’ve ever been caught reading someones book or missed your stop because you’ve been dead to the world for the last 10, you’ll know what I’m talking about.

When you’re going about your day to day life it’s not uncommon to catch a convo here and there when you’re on public transport though, it’s particularly easy. Confined to, what’s essentially a moving box, for anywhere from 5 minutes to an hour you’re basically forced to eavesdrop. With only the walls for the sound to bounce off it’s only naturally that it bounces into your ears.

I know people complain all the time about others talking too loudly on their mobile phones and that they couldn’t care less if you’re “just on the tram now, probably five minutes away, I’ll see you soon”. I mean it’s true if you’re just five minutes away why bother calling? Why not wait five minutes to actually see the person and save us all the interruption? But beside the boring, eavesdropping on conversations can turn a 20 minute tram ride into a 20 minute tale of intrigue.

Whether intentionally or not we’ve all overheard a story here or there and you must admit that when you hear an especially juicy or hilarious one you get off the tram/train/bus feeling a little bit lighter. I know it’s not just me  listening in on other people’s conversations and enjoying it. Not only is there a section of the MX paper dedicated to funny overheards but there is also a whole website specific to collecting wonderful snippets of conversations.

Overheard in New York is basically the MX overheard on a grand scale and based in New York. You can scroll through the pages, click to find a random quote or browse by date to read entry after entry of the funny, sweet, stupid and at times weird things people say out loud. While the website is just focused on New York there are plenty of links on the page to other overheard sites from things said at the beach to the office.

(Source: overheardinnewyork.com)

So if you enjoy listening in on others and can’t be bothered leaving the house this is the website for you.

But if you do find yourself out and about and listening in on a gold mine of quotes here are some tips to keep in mind so you don’t look like you’re really listening (which is key because you don’t want to look rude):

On public transport

Listen to your ipod. Only have no sound on.

Read a book/magazine/newspaper. Only don’t read any of it. Turn pages occasionally to keep up appearances.

Play on your phone. Look at Facebook, scroll through your photos, check your messages, anything that doesn’t require attention.

In general

Shops: Causally linger nearby pretending you’re really fascinated by the top/phone/book/chair that’s there.

Café with friends: Casually adjust your conversation so your friend can talk about themselves and you can concentrate your listening to the table beside you.

Waiting in line: Just continue waiting in line, casually.

 At home: Go into the room next door and hold a glass up to the wall. Listen.

If you take anything away from this post I want it to be this, acting casual is the key to any situation that requires surreptitious practices. From finding out what the person next to you did about their cheating boyfriend, tricking your parents into telling you what they bought your sister for Christmas or uncovering a undercover assassination plot when you’re a top level spy, having a casual air will only ever be a bonus.

Happy listening!

x